God, China & Will. Pt. 2

'Maybe the young man will hold him and say, "life is not what you've heard ..."
'Maybe the boy will turn to him and say, "i guess you've never really lived ..."

You know what the hardest thing is right now? trying to rememeber everything that happened in China .. every little thing. *sigh*.. I could go on and recount all the guided tours and conversations with random people, but what I really wanna blog about are the moments that affected me. Places and people that met me at a soul level.

i guess after 4 months, i've finally 'unpacked'.

one of the first places we visited was the orphanage... and it's probably the most defining..

we visited the Bethel Orphange for the Blind located in the deep rural suburbs of Beijing, our coach had to stop at the end of the road because the track was too muddy

I remember walking down the track thinking to myself, 'I bet something life changing is going to happen here ...'

We got to the end of the track and i was expecting a really shabby place with broken down walls, leaking roofs and so forth,but when we got there the actual orphanage was pretty nice. We had to put these plastic bags over our shoes so we don't dirty the childrens play area, we sat down and the staff went to fetch the children...

When they came in, our hearts really started to just melt .. like oozy fresh baked cookies .. yeh just like that .. We started to sing them some songs and I remember just looking at one boy who did something that kept a smile on my face..

a soul smile..

Let me explain this in a way that would seem clear online.. *deep breath*

you see, we went into this room with the acoustics that would hit you in the face every time sound travelled, i mean this room was like LOUD.. literally loud! .. We started playing the drums, guitar and then singing, and whilst to the trained ear it sounded like world war 3, the kids themselves were loving it .. hysterical laughter, giggles, shouts, and screams ..

and then, he walked into my life...

a little blind chinese toddler.. i was playing the guitar as he bumped his way into everything just to get to me, and then he did it.. putting his little ear on my guitar to better recognize where the sound was coming from, after that he went on to the drums and put his ear on it, and then finally on the piano .. as the other kids played and were jumping around, i noticed a certain peace come upon this little boy every time he would put his ear and identify the source of sound.. as if it brought him an intrinsic satisfaction .. some fulfillment perhaps even soul-nourishment of just knowing that life was altogether as long as sound existed ..

"God, what are you trying to tell me ?", i asked Him as i felt my soul smile abit more .. i asked one of the staff if I could know his name, they smiled and responded, 'Li Lang Ahn'.. i liked it, but by the 100th time came to stare at him some more and smile .. i had decided to lovingly label him,

Mushu.

I worked up enough courage to finally ask his caretaker if I could hold him, and she said yes ... it also seemed like Mushu was getting restless with all the sound that was accumulating in the room i think he was aggravated trying to put his ear on everyone and anything.

And so I picked him up ... and held him.

Now, most people would know im not exactly the most affectionate, compassionate kinda guy when it comes to little kids (i don't know why - must be a guy thing ...) but something in this moment was different.. do i dare say, life changing.

And out of the blue, i don't know why .. but i started to hum ..anything really that came into mind.. and he did something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

As I sang to him ...

"Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream .. Really do come true."

he put his ear on my lips ...

and i broke..

Now it may seem cheesy, but ill say it anyway .. it's as if time stopped.. and i held in my arms a part of me that had been missing for a very long time.. i knew what God was trying to say and as Mushu left his ear on my lips i closed my eyes .. and "dreamt of a better me ..."

In the worlds noisiest room, Mushu left his ear on my lips for what seemed like a good 5 mins ..
What touched me was the fact that he drew nearer to hear 'the source'.

What God spoke into my heart was clear and simple that day,

"this has got to be you Will. You got to have enough child like faith to come to me no matter the hinderance or distraction that will come your way. You got to enough childlike faith to keep your ear on my Word."

Selah.

and just like that i guess, Mushu left his mark - permanently.

If a picture says a thousand words then I guess this right here is my sistine chapel:

Mushu - Will de los Santos

theres a blind boy at the orphanage window
dying to see what he hears
theres a young man whose lived life with eyes closed
i wonder what would happen when they meet
maybe the young man will hold him
and say life is not what youve heard
maybe the boy will turn to him and say
i guess youve never really lived
so how do i move on and not be changed by you now?
so how do i move on and not be changed by you now?
so how do i move on and not be changed by You?


I can go on and mention many other things about China, the way the sun peers through the fog whilst hiking up the Great Wall or perhaps how the rain creates an eery effect whilst strolling down Tiananmen Square ... but i think i've mentioned the most defining moment in the China trip for me ..

funny isn't it: often times the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart ..

To conclude thats probably the reason as to why i was 'sent' there ... matters of the heart.

On one of the bustrips home, I remember a vision He whispered into my soul .. It was a picture of a small me .. (similiar to Mushu) .. but with his heart in his hands.. willing to give it to anything and anyone who was willing to take it..

Hmmm I guess that's another blog isn't it and God willing, maybe another song.

All in all, China was unbelievably lifechanging.

One of the questions I continue to ask God since then is,

'Lord, how do I move on and not be changed by You now? ...'

...

In retrospect, the answer was found within Mushu...

"To be changed, is to be close to the Maker's (Source's) heart."

I love that.

God, China & Will Pt.1

' there's a blind boy at the orphanage window,
dying to see what he hears,
there's a young man who's lived life with eyes closed,
I wonder what would happen when they meet ...

It's been two months since the last blog, I left for China June 27 2008, and I don't really know why I left it up to this long to start writing a blog about my experiences/encounters - I guess i'm the type of person that takes a while to 'unpack' in every aspect - emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually .. hmmm probably in that order as well.

I recall not knowing what to feel during the drive to the airport, somehow God always gives me a door into a different land every year to learn something I may never possibly learn here, and that particular door was China. I'm not really sure sometimes if the door is an opportunity for escape or for growth - maybe sometimes it's both. God's good that way.We got to the Airport - met by a full blown entourage, 12 strong. I love YD, I really do - it's amazing how even a small thing like a trip to the airport or a farewell can manifest itself into a moment so defining. I checked in my luggage and dragged Sarah to hang out with the gang.

'you've been blessed with such awesome friends ...' - Sarah

I concur.

Mixed emotions really, as my flight number started to blink on the little terminal monitor. We ate and then came the time to see me off. Besides my birthdays, it was a day i recieved so many hugs, I lost count. I thanked God for friends, the whole concept of it. We walked towards the customs gate, like those scenes from movies ya know? .. I hugged all of them goodbye, some with tears, and even letters to read. It's funny how you can tell how much someone cares for you, when they're farewelling you.. (even if was just for a month)... and i looked back as I walked away, and thought to myself, the best part of this trip is gonna be ...

coming home to them.

After going through customs, it finally hit me that I had a whole month of adventures and lessons ahead of me. I caught up with the rest of the Music Department, and we grabbed a few guys and prayed for the trip. See in my heart, I just wanted to see God move but to be more specific .... in me. After a few hours, the time came to board and the rest was really up to Him.

Somehow, I always get the window seat, i thought to myself as the food came. Funny, it's like God's way of hinting, 'Will, there's something I want to show you ...' hmm come to think of it, i like that. Every cloud that passed and every star that beckoned brought me closer to a better me. Funny, how i always get the window seat.


The trip to Singapore and then Singapore to Beijing was spent :

- playing on my PSP
- trying to read my bible
- telling everyone to connect their seat phone
- calling everyone that connected their seat phone
- even if they were sitting next to me
- annoying the people who sat next to me

- succeeded

- walking around the plane trying to find something to do
- eating and watching movies.
- thinking .. and then repeating the whole process til eventually we landed in Beijing.

You know what it smelt/looked and felt like? .. The Philippines! The only obvious difference was the sound of the chinese language. Besides that, there seems to be no big difference. Touching down in Beijing felt like touching down in Manila.
We checked into our hotel, and straight away met the team we would share a big part of our lives within the duration of 14 days. We then proceeded to tour Beijing, in all it's glory ...

My heart and mind weren't ready for the emotional trips, nor the change that would follow suit.

To be cont.