' what dreams may come ... '

We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who hope that their dreams will come true.

-Woodrow Wilson

Last night's worship time with Y.D was, nothing short of amazing. I can't even put it into words. The worship band and i were the first to arrive in the sanctuary on Friday and as soon as we got there we tested out the sound system and found out that the computer wasn't working, isn't it strange sometimes how fast panic can invade a person's heart? all sorts of thoughts went through my mind,

"how are the youth going to worship without the words on the screen?",
"oh man, it's gonna be harder to press into His presence"...

and even though i knew that worship went beyond the words on a screen, i started to doubt, and i guess looking back in hindsight over the past 24 hours, i can only say that here in the faithfulness of Christ - i blog.

we ran through our songs as everyone arrived, and as i started to praise Him, the doubt began to melt away, i was hungry for the glory of God to fall, in my fasting time i was reminded of the 'war' that we face as we lead young people into the throne room of God and i guess it all just started to fit into place right there . i mentioned it in my last post, but it's true, ALL that really matters is if 'your heart is right before God'. i was telling a friend before we got into worship that, physically i felt i was lacking - due to a viral infection brought by the winter chill, mentally i felt i was not prepared - due to the high stress involved in trying to fix the computer and running a band practice whilst trying to focus on what God wanted to say, but then i told her spiritually - "i'm more than ready and expectant", and that was all He needed.

It hit 7:15 and we had our last worship time as a band, gave the crew a short exhortation on the Glory of God, and as we closed off in prayer to prepare ourselves for worship, His presence filled the entire sanctuary and i knew right then and there, that no amount of technical difficulty was going to stop Him from moving.

I told Glenn (Youth Pastor) beforehand that i sensed that we were in some sort of a battle and God wanted to breakthrough in the lives of hurting highschoolers ...

and breakthrough He did.

'do you remember young people, when God gave you dreams?
when you dreamed to dance for His glory, sing or play music?
But you let them die because of all the garbage you faced in life?
Tonight, can we say NO to the enemy's lies?!
Can we say no more!
Because no matter how much you've stuffed it up,
HE'S NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!
HE'S NOT DONE WITH YOU!
the best is yet to come with Him!
GREATER THINGS HAVE YET TO COME!'

Knowing that most of our highschoolers come from alot of rough things at school and at home, and then seeing them cast it all aside for a touch from their God really broke me .. in a good way. it really really really, made my heart grow big even more for Y.D.

when you're in the trenches with the boys from cell group and you're hearing about how they just want to give up,
or even hearing stories from leaders who feel so alone or burnt out and then seeing the exact moment when they
make a concious decision to praise Him through their storms - i guess it kinda takes your breath away, and leaves
you in awe of His faithfulness, not only to individuals but to Y.D as a whole.

He really moved on Friday, and it went beyond all our expectations, if you're from 'Youth with a Destiny', and you're reading this, i pray for the dreams in your heart that have died because of disappointment/discouragement or because of the lies of the enemy to be raised, i pray for a spirit of resurrection/life into the things that have rotted away or have decayed because of various circumstances, i pray for a fresh new wind to be breathed in to the tired, run down parts of your soul, i pray for fire in your bones, Christ in your heart, and His purpose and destiny on your mind. i pray for so much more for you friend, so much more - in Jesus name. Amen.

*sigh*, He never fails. there is so much more to say, but apart from worship, everything else in life is going rather great. sure there are things that have been cut off, but i guess that's another thing i want to blog about .. relationships.. i found this quote rather relevant to the picture i have for this blog up above...

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are
never, ever the same." - Anonymous

Isn't it strange how sometimes you're close to people, and then suddenly you're not? i guess that's true for me .. i've gained and lost a few friends from Wesley .. i don't understand why, but maybe it's just the way it was suppose to pan out?.. i've met one person recently who's played such a huge role in the season set before me, and it feels like i've known this person since forever.. i'm saddened by the many friendships i've had that never really continued to grow, but i take comfort in the fact that God knows what kind of friends i need. friends that could 'kick my butt' when needed..

the bottom line is, i'm grateful for the few friends that have strived to be constantly there for me, i can count them with half a hand but still - i count them. i've found that there are friends who stay in your hearts through life, and leave more than footprints..

they stay and build sandcastles ..

thanks to you. you know who you guys are.

life is something kinda beautiful these days, Holy Ghost night was awesome tonight. i love the IBT crew, the little boys who ive seen grow to young men - i'm so proud to be called your 'kuya' and your cell group leader, the 'destiny shapers' specially the guy leaders - i stand tall in ministry because i stand beside men after God's heart.

oh Y.D .. *sigh* the possibilities.

.. what dreams may come.

In the light of Your glory.

' please shut my eyes, as the lights invade me ..'

My name is Will De los Santos, and these last few months have been the hardest i've had to face since turning 21 .. so much so, that in many ways it blinded me from many truths in life. i guess you can say i had lost the plot, and it's only really now i've had enough courage and humility to come to grips with what i've needed to do. since the begining of this year, the whole music scene for me has been quite the journey: starbucks, channel 7, opera house, rouse hill, the basement, magnolia bar, parliament house lawns, man the list goes on. and somewhere in the midst of all of that, i felt like one of the three little ducks that lost his way. isn't it funny how the sincerest of dreams can be the ones that seduce us away from the Dreamgiver?

many a time, i would be on stage and feel my soul slipping away with each vocal line, each photograph, each scream or shout from the audience not knowing how in the world to make it stop... and as the lights shone ever brighter on my once warm skin, i grew cold to the things of Him .. to quote the lyrics from a song entitled '21':

'can I come down now, from these broken castles?
the ones i've built with these two hands...'


It was 2 o'clock in the morning as we got on the cold stage in Calwell, Canberra almost 300km away from home. I didn't know why I said yes to even performing there. I guess because i knew it was a 'christian gig', i was hoping for something.. anything really. a word, a wake up call, heck someone to just knock some sense into my dulled down soul. we sang our first two songs .. and upon our third song, something was different .. i don't know what it was, i duno when exactly it happened .. but right then and there, all i wanted - was Jesus Christ.

we got off the stage to a more than appreciative crowd, and as i walked out of the hall, i was tagged by Mal Garvin (Founder/President of the Fusion Organization)...and i'll never forget what he said to me, "God says to you, He loves you, stop trying to fight with Him ..." ..

I didn't know what to say except a teary thank you.. i knew what God was trying to speak through Mal, it was as if there was a God shaped hole in my heart, that i've been trying to fill with my own selfish ambitions .. and it's left me wanting more and more of things that will never, ever quench me ..

we drove back home after a few hours, and on the passenger seat to sydney
- i dreamt of a better me.

i was determined to get to the heart of it all, which meant cutting off whatever was necessary to grasp the things of God, and to be intimate once again, with the only Person who's been constant throughout all my wanderings in life.

as i picked up David, my guitar that friday night, i held him in my hands and remembered all the times we led a young generation into the presence of God together... i was somewhat nervous at the fact that i hadn't led worship in so long, but i remembered the words of a good friend,

'all that really matters, is if your heart's right before God...'

7:40 hit, and we proceeded into worship, it was a different feeling from being on stage at rouse hill or canberra ...it felt like .. home. i'm reminded of some lines from one of my favorite movies:

"All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home...as the poet Dante put it: In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path. Eventually I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place."

i feel i could freeze frame this part of my life and attach the above lines as captions.. "eventually i would find the right path... and find the way home ..."

give me the guitar, give me my David, give me my bible ... let's worship. let's press in to the presence of God. let's wrestle for a touch, let's seek His face and His will. because at the end of the day, that's home for me. it might have taken alot of false dreams, or maybe taken 3 hours from home just to realize it, but that's always been the dream hasn't it? to touch lives, to bring Him fame - it was never about me. never.

and that's so real to me.. because that's all i have. i want to be a vessel for the living God. and though i stuff it up alot, i just want Jesus. i don't want no more false dreams, i don't want bad relationships, i want something lasting, i need something life changing.

and i'll never forget how it felt that last friday night ushering YD into the presence of God..

"there is breakthrough in this place in Jesus name, He can overcome tonight,
He can breakthrough tonight guys, C'mon! let's encounter Him..."

I stand in awe of a God who uses wretches like me, I lift my hands to a God who delivers day in and day out, who works in all seasons, in the heights and in the depths, who greets me with love each morning, who holds my world each sleepless night.. I fall before the presence of a God who woos me back each time i go off and play the harlot with false dreams and ambitions, whose love for me is unfailing.. whose plans for me provide for every single need i have ...

He's taken me through too much garbage, to sit still and do nothing.

I choose not to offer to Him, that which costs me nothing ..

My names Will De los Santos, i'm a worshipper of the Living God.